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male-clothing
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male-clothing
<< forwards shopping at the Men's Warehouse - I guarantee it! >> 

(best if viewed in "courier" or other monospaced font.)

  We all know that men are not quite as adept at fashion
  as women.  In fact guys will pretty much wear anything, anytime, 
  with anything.  This creates the false impression that guys just 
  "throw" any old thing on.  This however is not the case.  As 
  this  handy little guide points out, getting dressed is a highly 
  complex and organized ritual for men.
     
               The Male Guide to Selecting an Outfit
              ---------------------------------------
     
   ----------       -----------              -------------------
  | Are there| No  | Are there | "What's a  | Are there clothes | 
  |clothes in|---->|clothes in |  hamper?"  | strewn in random  | 
  | dresser? |     |the hamper?|----------->|piles on the floor?|
   ----------       -----------              -------------------
         | Yes           | Yes                | Yes       | No 
         +------------------------------------            V
         |                                               ------- 
         V                                              |  Buy  |
     ---------------                                    |  more |
    | Take whatever |                                   |clothes| 
    |   is on top   |                                    -------
     ---------------           -------------------------
         |                     |                       | 
         V                     V                       |
     --------  No           ---------                -----------
    |   Is   |------------>| Perform | "Ohmigosh"   |  Spray    | 
    |   it   | Not sure    |  smell  |------------->|   with    | 
    | clean? |------------>|  test   |              | deodorant |
     --------               ---------                -----------
         | Yes                | "Not bad"
         +--------------------
         |
         V
     --------------                    ---------
    |For underwear:| "Which ones are  |Will they|   "I may get 
    |Are there many|   for my legs?"  |   be    |    arrested." 
    |    holes?    |----------------->| visible?|--------
     --------------                    ---------         |
         | No                           | No             V 
         +------------------------------            ------------- 
         |                                         |Place item on| 
         |                                         | dirty pile; | 
         |                                         | start over  | 
         |                                          ------------- 
         V
     ---------        ------------        ----------------------
    |  Is it  | Yes  |   Do you   | Yes  | But would you rather | 
    |wrinkled?|----->|really care?|----->| have a tick on your  |
     ---------        ------------       | eyeball than iron a  |
         | No              | No          | shirt?               | 
         |                 |              ---------------------- 
         |                 |                             | Yes 
         +------------------------------------------------
         |
         V
     --------   Kinda             -------          -----------
    |  Does  |------------------>| Is it |  No    | Seek the  | 
    |   it   |  "Does it what?"  |  dark |------->| advice of | 
    | match? |------------------>|  out? |        | a female  |
     --------                     -------          -----------
         | Yes                      | Yes
         +--------------------------
         |
         V
     ----------
    |  Put on  |
    | clothes! |
     ----------