Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother,
"Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness,
and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a
moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
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A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could,
trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please
don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was
running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty
and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running
again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me
be late...But please don't shove me either!"
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A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the
money now, will he let us go?"
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Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy
says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,
they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few
words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third
boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of
paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the
money!"
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An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male
pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she
wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take
me out when I'm dead.
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to
arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
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A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go
to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied,
"Because people are sleeping."
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them
to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and
six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy
mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou
shall not kill."
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human
beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was
created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him
lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little
Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
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Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching
on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan
stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's
probably just your dad."
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