Corporate America
- or -
You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if:
 | You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three
different companies.
 | Your company logo on the welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
 | Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
 | The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note.
 | When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
 | You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
 | You learn about your layoff on CNN.
 | Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your
best jokes.
 | Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
 | You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
 | Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than
all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
 | You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive. (for
execs)
 | You think lunch is the two minutes you take to swallow your
baloney sandwich whole while watching the next program load.
(everyone else)
 | It's dark when you drive to and from work.
 | Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
 | "Communication" is something your group is having problems
with.
 | You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
 | Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
 | Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
 | Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
 | Art involves a white board.
 | You're already late on the assignment you just got.
 | When 100% of your time means 20 hours.
 | You work 200 hours for the $50 bonus check (or the free movie
ticket) and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
 | Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
 | Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes",
"in your spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an
opportunity for you."
 | Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check
you get every January.
 | Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with
computers".
 | Change is the norm. (And remember, change is GOOD!)
 | Nepotism is encouraged.
 | The only reason you recognize your kids is because their
pictures are hanging in your cube.
 | You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
 | You read this entire list and understood it ALL!!!
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