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Chocolate
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Chocolate Lovers Unite!

bulletIf you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
bulletChocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
bulletThe problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
bulletDiet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
bulletA nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
bulletIf you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.
bulletBut if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
bulletIf calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
bulletIf I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
bulletMoney talks. Chocolate sings.
bulletChocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
bulletIf not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?

A. Because no one wants to quit.