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Corporate America
Home Up Ham Radio Family Recreation Career Humor Ministry Recipes

Corporate America

- or -

You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if:

bulletYou've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
bulletYour company logo on the welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
bulletYour resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
bulletThe company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note.
bulletWhen someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
bulletYou get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
bulletYou learn about your layoff on CNN.
bulletYour biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
bulletYour supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
bulletYou sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
bulletSalaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
bulletYou think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive. (for execs)
bulletYou think lunch is the two minutes you take to swallow your baloney sandwich whole while watching the next program load. (everyone else)
bulletIt's dark when you drive to and from work.
bulletFun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
bullet"Communication" is something your group is having problems with.
bulletYou see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
bulletFree food left over from meetings is your main staple.
bulletWeekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
bulletBeing sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
bulletArt involves a white board.
bulletYou're already late on the assignment you just got.
bulletWhen 100% of your time means 20 hours.
bulletYou work 200 hours for the $50 bonus check (or the free movie ticket) and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
bulletDilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
bulletYour boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."
bulletVacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.
bulletYour relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
bulletChange is the norm. (And remember, change is GOOD!)
bulletNepotism is encouraged.
bulletThe only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.
bulletYou only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
bulletYou read this entire list and understood it ALL!!!