Corporate America
- or -
You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if:
| You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three
different companies.
| Your company logo on the welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
| Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
| The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note.
| When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
| You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
| You learn about your layoff on CNN.
| Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your
best jokes.
| Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
| You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
| Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than
all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
| You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive. (for
execs)
| You think lunch is the two minutes you take to swallow your
baloney sandwich whole while watching the next program load.
(everyone else)
| It's dark when you drive to and from work.
| Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
| "Communication" is something your group is having problems
with.
| You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
| Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
| Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
| Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
| Art involves a white board.
| You're already late on the assignment you just got.
| When 100% of your time means 20 hours.
| You work 200 hours for the $50 bonus check (or the free movie
ticket) and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
| Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
| Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes",
"in your spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an
opportunity for you."
| Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check
you get every January.
| Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with
computers".
| Change is the norm. (And remember, change is GOOD!)
| Nepotism is encouraged.
| The only reason you recognize your kids is because their
pictures are hanging in your cube.
| You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
| You read this entire list and understood it ALL!!!
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