A Classic! These are actual excuse notes from parents, including spelling.
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My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E.  today.  
Please execute him.
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Please excuse Lisa for being absent.  She was sick and I had her shot.
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Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan.  28, 29, 30, 
31,32, and also 33.
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Please excuse Gloria from Jim today.  She is administrating.
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Please excuse Roland from P.E.  for a few days.  Yesterday he fell out 
of a tree and misplaced his hip.
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John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
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Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.  He was 
hurt in the growing part.
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Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by 
very close veins.
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Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
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Please excuse Ray Friday from school.  He has very loose vowels.
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Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday.  He had diarrhea and 
his boots leak.
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Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
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Please excuse Jimmy for being.  It was his father's fault.
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Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.  We forgot to get 
the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought 
it was Sunday.
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Sally won't be in school a week from Friday.  We have to attend her funeral.
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My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired.  She spent a 
weekend with the Marines.
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Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday.  He had a cold and 
could not breed well.
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Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday.  She was in bed with gramps.
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Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
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Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
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Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore 
throat, headache and upset stomach.  Her sister was also sick, fever 
and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over.  
I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever.  There must be 
something going around, her father even got hot last night.
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